Thursday, April 29, 2010

In my years as a blogger, I began to feel the great potential of digital design


as a way of expressing self
but also that it's YET another discipline and
in not getting into design of architectures,
elegance of usage
it isn't yet complete

i'm not writing this a poem on purpose
not at all
trying to express the ideas of what this blog post will be
and this is what is happening

was not jill's choice to write into the poem
that wasn't supposed to be a poem
but rather something that happened
and then predictably angry with this personality Jill
would type that
and it would say something that
namely, the BIG BLANK SPACE of the negative space in design terms

the writer's block that that iNSISTENCE ON BEING SAID FOR ITS OWN MEANING'S SAKE was causing
in order to have it's expression be expressed

And I still didn't finish my intent for what this blog post is going to be about.
And this poem is a form-is-also-meaning expression

I don't feel the inspiration of poetry right now viscerally as I had been used to experiencing it in my life.
Rather, I feel mostly nothing.

This is not a poem.
For me, the search for a happy life is predicated in finding a way to maintain the constructing of a meta-narrative: keeping aware of the days as they pass; knowing that there's a place where I am storing memories, thoughts, and creations; and at certain intervals, re-visiting those memories, are important in creating the self, in my experience.

I do keep notebooks of various types of content, including free-writing, lists, doodles, sketches, notes from various meetings. Personal notebooks, however, don't allow me to interact with readers the way the internet does. I've forced myself, for a few years now, to continue without a redesigned homepage and with a stagnant blog; I've found that the lack of upkeeping the design has enraged the part of myself that desires a home for the virtual metanarrative that I have wanted to be creating. I don't purport to be a designer of great webpage architectures, but I do have a part of me that wants to express itself through the home-design of my webpages.

Social media pages such as Facebook and Flickr do not allow the user enough flexibility of design expression for those sites to fulfill my desire for a web-home. Twitter, of course, though it permits unique background design, limits the length of Tweets (making it not-ideal as a potential Web homebase for a writer); and doesn't host photos, making it necessary to open yet another account, and further fragmenting my sense of web home. Having the photography be on a satellite page such as Twitpic, makes it feel like incidental or supplemental material, when in actuality, it's a primary method of expression. Having the repository of photography be separate from the textual narrative and purported home page has been an irksome peeve of mine ever since it became evident that using Flickr as a visual repository provided a more streamlined and a searchable timeline for my visual web content. I'll get into my feelings about Flickr (both its wonders and its drawbacks) in the future, but for now I'm addressing how these many pages haven't fulfilled my yen for, nor quelled my anger at not being able to maintain a self-designed web-based meta-narrative for myself.

At this point in my writing (in recent months, the jotting down of ideas or private note-taking), I'll veer off to do some reading in the areas I am thinking about.

So much more to address. More later!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Meta #1: ScreenShot #1

Lack of a design for the blog, as well as pragmatic issues, have thus far kept me from publishing again. So I've decided to make the evolution of the creation of the space part of the site's content.

Monday, April 26, 2010


Thanks for joining me here.

I've been wanting to start a new incarnation of my blog, but various things have interrupted to varying degrees in the past few years since my blog went on hiatus.

So, in a sincere and yet crafty sidestepping of all those various things, I'm going to publish from scratch--no design, no supporting content, no icon, no avatar, no other pages...YET.

I want my own virtual space, giving me a place to look forward to visiting. Here I will make a space to document life and my intentional effort to enjoy it; find and encourage peace; and spread knowledge, wisdom, art, humor, spirit, warmth, and love.

"Here" might not stay on this URL, but I want to start publishing before something else gets in the way.

I look forward to your visits, comments & camaraderie, new friends & old.